Sometimes I feel guilty. Towards the destiny which lets me gush with admiration for the life spinning around. I just can't show my appreciation for this things still happening to me. Even if I feel I should to. Even when they half dead, they are still too alive to struggle. But the end is inevitably coming closer every tiny minute. So they just pretend to be fine not to make their families upset. Probably it would be much more merciful to let it stop, but I can't. So that for me there is nothing left exept my own guilty towards the destiny.